Mother's Day

The word cherub, if I hear it, always makes me think of Mom. So does the tea section in a grocery store. We used to watch Die Hard movies together on nights when Dad was away, so whenever I catch a re-run of any of the Die Hards, I will inevitably think of Mom at some point, which I realized wasn't normal when I told that story to one of my friends. The personal-pan size Boboli crusts are Mom, too. I used to get home from school and Mom would cook one for me (no sauce or cheese -- too bold for me) and she'd put on Inspector Gadget and I'd watch my favorite cartoon and eat my favorite pizza crust and unwind from a tough day of addition and subtraction. There is a postcard from Langkawi that Mom gave me the night before my first Ironman. It's written in a teal-blue ink, tells me to be proud and to smile and breathe and enjoy. That one is more obvious.

There is my I Survived A GangBang shirt. I don't really think of Mom when I wear it, but I know she would be disappointed wherever she is. There are the photos of Lilly and Jack and Amelia and Jim; those always make me think of how Amelia was once Lilly's age and how a few years down the road Mom had a brand new baby and a two year old and a four year old and a six year old. Those were simpler times, Mom says when I raise this with her, as if that makes it less remarkable. I don't know how one finds the energy to keep up with Lilly day after day, let alone four Lillys, but I have come to realize that Mom will never take the credit she deserves for this. Perhaps she feels ashamed that she raised a vandal daughter and a public-intoxicant son. I think she did rather well, especially given what she had to work with.    

Mom is knit sweaters, stitched rabbits, Tibetans, morning tea, I-think-I've-had-one-glass-too-many, flows, I-don't-want-a-puppy-but-I'll-hold-Tess-the-entire-way-home, ionizing or deionizing water, shepard's pie, love, cherubs, Boboli's crusts, Die Hard, duffah's, cherubs, rag-a-muffins, Oh-Ellie!, Jose-I mean Edward, Gi-gi!, Oh-Pete!, five-foot-one-and-a-half (or is it three-quarters?), alllllllright, counting-bridges-before-they-burn, Lebanese, Oh-Sis!, Get Personal, artist, marathon-finisher, big-hugs, peaceful, doodar (pronounced, doo-dah), Annie, surprsingly-sober-considering-she's-been-married-to-Dad-for-over-three-decades.

Mom is much more, of course, than a list of things and memories. She is simple and wonderful; a little woman who exudes acceptance and love in a way that makes the world a better place simply because she loves and accepts.

I am all over the place.  

I wanted to sit down to write and let know Mom how much I love her and instead I have spent the last hour thinking of all the ways Mom has loved. That is my Mom -- when I think of love, I think of her.

Happy Mothers' Day, Mom.