Things That Annoy Me

I was inspired by Joe, after reading this piece, to compile a similar list of irritants. 


After some time to think and compile, here we are. 


I've never been sure of the purpose of pieces like this. Is it to have someone agree with you? [though, no matter how many people agree or disagree, those things will still annoy you.] Is it to merely remind those reading of life's annoyances? Are you arguing for the items on the list to be considered annoying?


I don't have an answer. I'm not sure of the purpose of this post. 


I just have this list.




1. Overly sensitive hot/cold taps on showers and bath tubs.

I love to shower (though not in the Penn State kind of way). It's a time to unwind, to let hot water rush over you and realize that life isn't that bad. It can be the start to a great day, or a way to wind down before bed as you let the steam carry away all the stress. 

Showers can and should be invigorating, cleansing, simple. 

What makes a great shower?

I'd argue 4 things.

1) Above average water pressure.

2) Adequate, yet clean space for maneuverability.

3) Taps that allow for gradual variance in water temperature.

4) A tall shower head doesn't force one to crouch.

Is there more? Of course. Ideally, you have a place to sit down [because sitting in the shower is heavenly]. And ideally there's a shower curtain. 

But those four are the essentials. There can not be a great shower if those aren't present. 

Unfortunately at my house, none of the four are really met. [I guess #4 is, but barely.]

After one of my countless mediocre showers at this place, I've tried to figure out which of the four are the most essential. If I could have only one of them, which one would I have? This is a tough question to answer. Ideally, you want them all. But what if you could only have one?  

And I think I've decided that the one I would choose is #3.

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to stand in a shower and turn the tap a quarter turn to the right and feel the water go from lukewarm to scalding. Or how tedious it is to turn a tap three full turns with no effect on the water temperature whatsoever. The taps should be consistent [how hard is it to be a water tap, really? You have one purpose in life], and reasonable. 

Imagine if you took a spin class where a quarter turn of the dial was just a guess -- it could make the resistance ten times more difficult or it could do nothing. You'd never take the class again.

Unfortunately, I don't have the same option with boycotting the shower as I do a spin class. [I guess I do, but women seem to be elusive enough when I don't smell like garbage]. So each day I step in to the shower and play this horrible, sometimes painful guessing game.  

2. People who don't wave when you let them in.

If somebody is kind and gives you space to change lanes/enter the highway, throw them a quick wave. It communicates something to the effect of: "Hey, thanks for letting me in. You didn't have to, but you did anyways. I recognize and appreciate not only what you did back there, but you as a person. I wish I could do more, but all I can offer you is a friendly, heartfelt wave. Have a good day. Know that I am always with you, and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for." 


That one simple act, that quick wave, makes a friend, creates a bond of trust and respect that can never be broken.  


Conversely, if you don't wave, what you are in effect saying is: "I'm too absorbed in my own life to acknowledge kindness when I see it. Important people like me don't have time for waves and thank you's. That's why I don't use my indicator when I change lanes, and I don't say thank you when someone holds a door open for me. Because it doesn't affect me. I'm too important to care about waving, about things that don't directly benefit me. That's why I drive this sweet car...... Oh, and one more thing: go fuck yourself."


Don't be a dick. Just wave. 




3. Being called"buddy" by anyone outside of my family.

My Mom and Dad can call me buddy. My spouse will be granted this privilege too, though I might suggest a more masculine, friendly alternative like tough-stuff. 


For the remaining world population, the term "buddy" is off limits; you call pets and children "buddy", and unless I'm mistaken, I am neither to anybody else in the world.  


So when somebody says, "Hey buddy, could I get a drink from you?" I instantly like them less. 


I'm young, I recognize that. Facial hair growth has never been one of my strong suits. But still, find something else besides a pet name. Anything else. I'd obviously prefer tough-stuff, but would even settle for dude, brother, or Frank. At least Frank's a real name.  


So to answer the question from earlier: Yes, you can get a drink from me, but if you call me buddy one more time, I won't make it with love. I'll just make it. I hope you taste the difference.


4. Persistent house flies.

We spend so much of our lives trying to answer the shortest question: Why?


Why did he leave? 
Why did this happen to me? 
Why am I balding? 


More often than not, there isn't an answer.  


There is not always a logic to be revealed, not always a clear reason for what happens to us in life. 


And so it is with houseflies. 


Why do they buzz around incessantly? Why do house flies continually land on your knee or ankle -- how does landing on my knee improve their day, benefit their miserable life at all? And why are they so obsessed with television screens? Why don't they go find a trash dump somewhere and spend their days flying from rotten fruit to human waste? Flying within arms-reach of me only increases its chances of being swatted and ultimately killed, yet they continually play this dangerous game -- risking their life for seemingly no gain at all. 


Why?  



5. Waiting at a red light at an empty intersection.

This one requires the least explanation. 

There's simply no good reason why any of our life should be spent waiting at a red light when we are the only ones at an intersection. We can surf the internet wirelessly. We can put men in space. But we can't figure out a system that allows people to get from point A to point B without waiting at abandoned intersections? 

It's terribly frustrating; and almost always puts me in the position of debating whether or not to cut the light out of principle.  

There are many things wrong with our society today. This is one of them. But unlike poverty and alcoholism, the answer to this problem seems fairly straightforward. If there's only one car at an intersection, give it the green light. How hard is that? 

There's a government conspiracy lurking beneath all this. I'm sure of it.